It’s you and me in the summertime by Asha Lescault

“It’s you and me in the summer time”
Except it’s not
It’s just me
Summers used to be filled with laughter
Bike rides down the long dirt road
Pushing my uncle into the pool
Summers used to be fun
They used to be spent with my siblings
My older brothers throwing me in the water
Like I was a sack of potatoes
My grandmother
Attempting to teach me to swim
I remember she would always back up
And keep backing up
Until eventually I got to her
I remember the half melted popsicles
Racing from the pool to the table because the deck burnt your feet
Summer used to mean something
It used to be fun filled with laughter
I was never alone or sad
But now I feel alone
I have friends yes
But they either live too far
Or have someone they prefer
Most days I try to keep busy
Keep my mind from remembering I’m alone
My friends are all hanging with their friends I’m watching through the screen in my hand
Holding onto to memories I didn’t make
I would like to romanticize summer
But I can’t lie to you
I wish I was one of those girls
The ones who can wear shorts and crop tops without their stomach sticking out
I will always envy them
Envy the girls who don’t hate their body
Who don’t spend summers in and out of the doctors office
Looking for answers
I wish to romanticize summer
Jump for joy
And I do
For my family
I put on a happy face pretending everything is fine
When in reality I cry myself to sleep every night
Because I feel trapped
Trapped by the comfort of home but longing for adventure

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Asha Lescault is a high school senior at Maine Academy of Natural Sciences (MEANS). She is an aspiring poet, a babysitter and the youngest of four. You can find some more of her work on instagram @ashasspam2008