When Everything Changed – Prompt #2

Prompt: Write about a time everything changed in the blink of an eye.

Lux’s age: 20

TW: hints at mental illness (anxiety/depression)

…

Everything has changed. Changed so very much since I started working as a portal guard at the castle.

It started when Andrew and Camilla joined the guards. The moment they showed up and joined the staff of those who stand guard at the portal entrance, of which I am also a part, I immediately took notice of them. It takes a lot of trust from the queen to take that position, and the fact they joined so young, Camilla being 18 and Andrew 17, a month away from being 18, was very impressive. Them reaching this position at that age isn’t the main thing that drew my attention. Yes, the buzz of their accomplishment was initially what drew my attention, just like every other person in the castle, it was their beauty and the air about them that captured my still-new-to-society, freshly 20-year-old self. Camilla’s tall, muscular stature, sharp heterochromatic eyes, stoic nature, and husky voice, which is rarely ever heard in public, and Andrew’s bright orange hair, plethora of freckles, fit figure, and bright and bubbly personality were fascinating. Though we never got too close or ever really spoke to one another beyond pleasantries and duty-related things, they always stole my attention.

I had never been this captivated or interested in another person, let alone two, before. I didn’t know what it meant or how to react to these… feelings, so I ignored them the best I could. I tried not to think about those two and accepted the fact that, if they were in my vicinity or line of sight, I would be quite aware of, and my attention would continuously be drawn to, them. Didn’t think about why they were so alluring to me, I didn’t want to out of fear of what that might mean and what my mind would do with that information.

I managed to be successful for a while, but then things changed even more.

When Aurora came through the portal and was permitted to pass between our world and hers as she pleased as long as Andrew, the main reason she was initially permitted, or Camilla was with her while she was in Trolsk. This blond girl, who was taller than Andrew but shorter than Camilla, with green eyes, a curvacious figure, unique mannerisms, and something hiding underneath her outgoing personality that I feel I can relate to, captivates me just as much as Andrew and Camilla.

At first, it wasn’t much of an adjustment having to accommodate my mental avoidance to include Aurora where she wasn’t around much, but she slowly started spending more and more time in our world. I never spoke to her, but I saw her with Andrew and Camilla often. It became harder to avoid thinking of the three of them. My contentment with viewing Andrew and Camilla from afar and not furthering our relationship from colleagues to friends, or something else, started to fade. I started wanting to join their conversations, to become something… more to them than a colleague.

Then asked me to cover the rest of one of their shifts guarding the portal so that they could bring Aurora into town, to show her more of our world. I said yes, and while I was happy they came to me to ask for help, I was also jealous.

I wanted to go with them. I wanted to explore Egen (the town), to see more of our world, a world I haven’t seen much of even though I’m here. I wanted them to want me to come with them too. I wanted… so many things in that moment, and the moments since.

I have never desired the company of others like this, and since I acknowledged I wanted to be more to them, my brain has used this information as I feared. I am feeling and wanting more than before and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know if I can handle it…

…

Hello!

This is the end of my second post in Exploring Lux! In responding to this prompt, I paused and took several minutes to nail down the ages, birthdays, and age differences of my four characters! It took me a bit and was a little tedious, but I wanted to make sure things made sense, chronologically and not, for the plans I have for them.

Writing this, I struggled the most in trying to keep Lux’s voice while trying not to make them sound creepy. I modeled what they are feeling after some feelings I have had myself, though I changed the way they react to the feelings. The intensity in which they feel the captivation also appears to be fairly intense, mainly because I had them talk about their fascination with Andrew and Camilla over two years in a few paragraphs making it seem like their captivation of the two developed quickly and was the same intensity the entire time. The other reason it appears intense is because another way I changed it for them compared to me is by having them experience it a little more intensely than I have/do. I based their feelings on the desire I have now and then when I see some people and want to be friends with them, this often happens just about every time I see them. I often don’t initiate a conversation though because I am too self-conscious. I actually had this desire when I first saw my now best friend (at least that is how I see our friendship), but didn’t actually talk to them until several months later.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this writing prompt response! See you next week!