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“Not Your Horoscope” and “Bethlehem”

by Morgan Boyer

“Not Your Horoscope”

Aries: You’ll splash your milk on the blouse
you were going to wear to your interview

Taurus: You alarm went off, but didn’t hear it and now
you’re late picking up Noodles the pug from his appointment

Gemini: Your favorite gaming YouTuber got cancelled for
Making a poorly-timed 9/11 joke on Twitter

Cancer: the job acceptance letter you
waited weeks for went to your spam

Leo: You missed the 71B and now you have to pay
For an extra transfer and 20 more minutes of commute

Virgo: Your QAnon-cultist cousin tried tagging you on Twitter
And messaged you Tucker Clarson videos

Scorpius: the receptionist at your son’s pediatrician office
got replaced by a machine that doesn’t understand your accent

Sagittarius: your favorite bra was ruined in the wash
And now you only have 2 left that are wearable

Capricorn: Your soon-to-be sister in law is requesting a $95 KitchenAid
pasta attachment that she’ll never use since she hates cooking

Aquarius: the day after you broke up with your boyfriend, your
therapist caught COVID and won’t be able to see you for 2 weeks

Pisces: Your hospitalized mother-in-law you’re stuck caring for
watches nothing but Hallmark Christmas specials.


Smoke spews out of a plastic tube
against the backdrop of an early winter’s
sunrise as coral waves brush against
stretches of silver cirrus clouds.

Deary-eyed children unload one-by-one,
crayola-crayon yellow bodies born
from a factory in the Quaker countryside,
reading like a birthmark in bold letters,
“Made in Bethlehem,” approved by
the Oatmeal Messiah’s smile.

Morgan Boyer is the author of The Serotonin Cradle (Finishing Line Press, 2018), and a graduate of Carlow University. Boyer’s work has appeared in Kallisto Gaia Press, Thirty West Publishing House, Pennsylvania English, and the Pittsburgh City Paper. Boyer lives in Pittsburgh, PA. 


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