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A Ton of Bricks or a Ton of Feathers?

The feather golem and the brick golem seldom got along. This was largely due to the fact that they were born on the same day, in the same room, to the same alchemist, with vastly differing levels of success.

As is customary of standard golem alchemical procedure, a golem must weigh exactly one ton upon its creation. This was decided by the first order of alchemists and was heavily enforced by alchemist society to this very day, and so it was a very important rule to follow. But gladly, it was not a problem for Edwina the alchemist as she was working on her first project, the brick golem. In fact, the brick golem needed only so many bricks to weigh a ton, that he was created with an average man’s build, and height, standing at just over 5’10. He was quite capable from the moment of his birth, and so he leapt to help Edwina with her second project. 

“Mum, I want a brother.” He pleaded from the very first second he could think and speak. But clever Edwina took his rapid development in stride.

“You’ll thank me for what I’ve given you and nothing more. It wasn’t easy popping you out of the oven.” And just for that, she tossed him right back into the oven. Brick Golem didn’t mind, as he quite enjoyed the searing temperatures on his ceramic body.

But it was the case that Edwina already planned on making a second golem, and so she got to work on the feather golem while Brick Golem was away relaxing. Feather Golem was a different creature altogether. In order to weigh a ton, he was made up of over 500,000 feathers, which Edwina had scrounged up for years prior. His feathery body was pokey, and itchy, and breezy, and when Edwina finally finished her transmutations, he awoke with a mighty sneeze. 


Feather Golem was enormous, and he had to stoop just to keep his soft head from colliding with the ceiling. His sneeze was powerful, and it sent great big gusts of wind through the room. He knocked his head hard against the ceiling, and with a CRACK, his head went entirely through the upstairs floor. The oven door was wrenched open, and Brick Golem flew out from within it, entirely covered in hot flames.

“Out! Out! Get out of my home!” Shrieked Edwina at the troublesome golems, and thus they were thrown from their first home, never to see their creator again.

Brick Golem never stopped blaming Feather Golem for their abrupt entrance into the real world, but as a man-sized creature, with manlike features, and a keen mind, he was able to go forth and find a job for himself as a part time deep sea diver/part time ship anchor. Feather Golem on the other hand, was shunned. He was too big, too monstrous, and too sneezy. His days were filled with time spent on the run from angry mobs, and birds seeking down for their nests…

After all, although they weighed the same, Feather golem’s burden was much heavier.




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