Mockery on the Open Road
by Kyle Heger
May I have permission
to worship at the altar
of your souped-up muscle
car with racing stripes as it
cuts in and out of traffic
at 85 miles per hour, laying
down thick tracks of burned
rubber, belching exhaust,
its engine roaring? May I
offer what you so clearly
both deserve and desire:
slack-jawed awe and goggle-
eyed admiration for the
daring originality, nerves
of steel and peerless hand-
eye coordination that allow
you to perform a feat so far
beyond what we mere mortals
can even dream of achieving?
May I salute you with a big
thumbs up and a fist pump
before pulling over to the side
of the road, slumping over my
steering wheel, and simply
dropping dead of envy? I’d
consider it to be an honor.

Kyle Heger, former managing editor of Communication World magazine, lives in Albany, CA. His writing has won a number of awards and has appeared in 58 publications, including London Journal of Fiction, Nerve Cowboy and U.S. 1 Worksheets.
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